What you avoid controls you
“What you avoid controls you” I read this quote in a Tiktok and immediately thought of some of my organizing clients I have worked with. Clients who have, through life circumstances, acquired a level of clutter that was beyond their abilities to deal with. Even though they did their best to ignore the overwhelming clutter, to shut the door and not go into those rooms, that clutter was shaping their life and influencing their actions, moods, and their choices far more than they realized.
Let me start by saying that everyone (including me) has some level of clutter - I’m not talking about the normal piles on surfaces that just need a good tidy session. I’m talking about the towering piles, the doom boxes, and entire rooms that are full of who-knows-what.
That overwhelming level of clutter…
Increases our stress, studies show that clutter in our homes literally raises our levels of cortisol, the stress hormone
Distracts us and contributes to intrusive thoughts, making it difficult to focus and be productive
Alters our mood, contributing to negative thoughts and lowering our feelings of worth
Makes us less safe in our homes, increasing our chances of falls or accidents at home
Damages our homes - clutter hides water leaks, rodents and creates a fire hazard. Small problems often escalate into big problems when they are left to grow unnoticed beneath piles, bins and boxes
So why don’t people just deal with clutter? For the same reasons we procrastinate any unpleasant task - like when we need to do our taxes or make a dentist appointment. It’s human nature to avoid unpleasant tasks and people with clutter are concerned that things in the piles may be unpleasant or emotionally difficult to process. But delaying dealing with clutter can be just like delaying a dentist appointment. Putting off unpleasant but necessary work will only turn small problems into more costly and painful big problems.
Here is the truth about procrastinating with clutter - those piles get bigger everyday. Clutter is magnetic to other clutter, so any untidy area is going to build and grow. Clutter prevents us from using our home effectively which, in turn, contributes to additional clutter. AND while the clutter grows physically, the piles are even bigger mentally and emotionally! The more time passes, the harder it will feel both physically and mentally to challenge those piles. The simple truth is the longer we live with clutter, the harder it is to tackle.
One client I worked with a few years ago was the PERFECT example of how clutter occupies far more mental space than physical space.
This client had closed his physical business and moved into a new condo with a lovely home office. He set up his new office but never got around to unpacking many of the boxes that came over from his place of business. So he stacked 18 moving boxes along the far wall of the guest bedroom and told himself he would get to them. Every day he would walk past the guest room and think about those boxes. Whenever he went into the guest room, he looked at those boxes and felt overwhelm and guilt that he had not unpacked those moving boxes. Those boxes intruded in his thoughts and sucked up space in his condo. AND the longer those boxes lived in his condo, the BIGGER they got. They exerted control over how he lived and how he felt about himself and his home.
Finally, 28 years later, he hired me to edit his extensive book collection. In our initial assessment, he pointed out the boxes and said maybe one day we can tackle these boxes but warned me that the project would probably take a couple of days to get through. We finished the book project in half the time he had estimated and I suggested we use the remaining package time on his moving boxes. Again, he warned me that there wouldn’t be enough time left in the package but agreed to start. We got through all the boxes in 3 hours and had time left to carry out the trash to his condo dumpster and make arrangements for a shredder to come by for a pick up. Let me repeat - we were completely done in 3 hours! The client was thrilled and keep saying “I can’t believe I put those off for so long - it was so much easier than I expected”
In my work, I frequently see some version of this - people who have worried about the clutter for so long about the clutter that the clutter has has become a bigger mental burden than physical pile. For these people, their clutter has turned into such a big problem they don’t even know where to start and they have tried without success. I assure these clients that with a systematic approach, we can get through any level of clutter. Here is what I mean by systematic:
Don’t shuffle clutter
Decide and Act. Did we find paper that needs to be shredded? If yes, then put it in a bin and handle the shredding. Is there a lamp that you meant to ask your sister if she wanted? Take a picture right now and text her. If she says yes, make arrangements immediately to deliver it to her. The biggest mistake I see when people are going through clutter, is they acknowledge these decisions or possible solutions but they don’t act on them.
Some is better than none
Don’t expect to clear big areas on a random Saturday morning. After all, it probably took years to accumulate these piles. The work of decluttering is tiring, both physically and mentally. Better to do one complete project a day - in the example, take the lamp to the sisters or call a shredder. Even moving a small amount of clutter to a donation center each week is progress and will chip away at the piles.
Stop shopping until done
If you have clutter that is impacting how you use your home and how you feel about your home, there is no physical product you can buy that will make that situation better. Declutter first and assess what you really need to keep. Only then can you better determine what is missing or what can help improve your home. Most often, clients need structural storage - for example bookshelves - to hold the current volume in their home. Until the steps to declutter and improve storage are made, any new purchases will just grow the piles.
Take back your power
If clutter has made itself bigger than it needs to be in your life try shifting that power dynamic back to you! A virtual client was struggling with ‘clutter guilt’. Clutter guilt is that feeling that we should be able to use or think of something to do with a thing and not just throw it out. I challenged her - “why is it terrible if this goes to the trash? Isn’t it worse that you feel bad every time you open the closet and see this object and it’s taking up space in your home?” I suggested she walk it out to the trash bin and tell it “you have no power over me and you don’t get to stay in this home and make me feel bad. Goodbye!” It was a silly moment and we were both giggling but it worked. Telling this thing off on the way to the trash bin was freeing and shifted the power back to her!
Work with someone who can help
A friend who is supportive and honest or a professional organizer. Just as I worked with the client with the moving boxes, have someone to keep you accountable, stop you from churning, and who has a system to process decisions and actions is key to making progress. You don’t have to do this alone!
Clutter shapes our habits - avoiding the mess becomes the habit instead of building healthy organizational routines. By putting off progress, we delay the skills and habits that can transform our lives. But with fresh eyes, accountability and a systematic approach, even the most overwhelming clutter problem like rooms of doom boxes can be resolved. It’s not just about clearing the physical space - it’s about freeing the mental space, reducing overwhelm and taking back your power. Remember every small action counts and every step forward builds towards a more organized and peaceful life. And if you aren’t sure which step to take first, I’m here to help you figure it out.